


The Price of Worship

by Eli (AisukuriMuStudio)



Category: The Poppy War - R. F. Kuang
Genre: Character Study, Drabble, Headcanon, Introspection, M/M, POV Third Person Limited, Part 3 spoilers, Present Tense, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 07:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18132563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AisukuriMuStudio/pseuds/Eli
Summary: Chaghan has never worshipped a deity. He knows that any power they could offer him would come at far too high a price.





	The Price of Worship

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short drabble I wrote bc I can't stand there not being any Chaghan/Altan fics here. (Also, is it Chaghan Suren, or Suren Chaghan? I don't remember Kuang specifying how the Hinterlands do their family names.)
> 
> And just for the record, I absolutely believe Altan loves Chaghan. I absolutely believe their relationship is mutual. This is from Chaghan's perspective, so it is probably difficult to see just how much I see that.
> 
> And... I'm pretty sure Chaghan isn't a shaman, right? I wrote this assuming he wasn't devoted to any deity, including the Talwu (the one with the hexagrams). Since Rin could also offer a question, it doesn't make sense (to me) for that to be something only Seers can do. Chaghan might be able to find the Divinatory, but that's just because he's a Seer. I think that's how it works. (Actually, I'm not even sure the Talwu is a deity? Hm.)

Chaghan has never worshipped a deity. He is a Seer; he walks among the realm of the gods as if he had been born there. Even if gods are powerful, inspiring, tempting things, he has never himself been tempted to take their vows. He knows that any power they could offer him would come at far too high a price.

And yet, Chaghan has pledged himself to the Speerly just the same.

To call Altan a god would be to dishonor him. Altan, for all of his terrifying power, is more human than any of them. He cries, he bleeds, he suffers. Altan has suffered more than anyone else.

But Altan does not need a protector, a defender, a knight in shining armor. Altan needs compassion. Altan needs empathy and love. He needs to see that even without his hatred and his fire and his purpose, he has worth.

Of course, Chaghan knows, Altan won’t see it. Even if Chaghan gives Altan everything that he needs, he will stubbornly turn the other cheek, too dedicated to a god that doesn’t care enough in return. Both Altan and the Phoenix see each other as tools, weapons to be discarded after they’ve lost their utility. The difference is that the Phoenix could decide it is done playing with Altan at any moment, while Altan needs the power of the Phoenix if he’s going to destroy Mugen.

When Chaghan presses his lips to Altan’s, he feels the heat as thoroughly as if they were one. He allows Altan a channel for his restless hatred, the burning in him that must be kept alive if he wishes to keep the Phoenix’s favor.

Altan never takes it.

There are moments of anger, of course; Chaghan deliberately gets in his way, for Altan’s sake, and in these moments, Altan hates him. But when it is just the two of them -- when Chaghan dedicates himself to Altan in a way a lieutenant never before has dedicated himself to his commander -- Altan changes, shifts.

Altan is gentle. Kind. His eyes and touch soften, though both still carry a burning desire unrelated to the Phoenix.

Chaghan knows Altan as a ruthless commander, vicious in a fight, terrifying to behold. Altan will have vengeance on Mugen if it means bringing the world to its knees.

And Chaghan loves him. There are no conditions here. Chaghan would kill for Altan: at his command, at a flick of his wrist, at a hint of disrespect.

He thought he knew Altan well enough to know Altan would never take advantage of that. He thought he knew himself well enough to know he’d never allow it to be taken advantage of.

His worship is unconditional. But so is Altan’s fury.

The time has come to pay his price.

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, he isn't referring to Altan's (OFF SCREEN...) death. He's referring to Altan betraying him and deciding to unleash all of Chuluu Korikh. Maybe later I'll write a drabble at Chaghan's grief, but that'll probably be after Book 2 comes out, and only if Altan's confirmed dead. As in, confirmed, we find his body and we bury him. Or burn him. 
> 
> (I'm not in denial)


End file.
